I will be joining with thousands of people nationwide this month to walk in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Community Walk. Please donate!
The image above is a picture of a diary entry from when I was 8 years old. Things were bad at home: we had experienced years of domestic violence at the hands of my father, my mother got on welfare after my father left home, and we barely had anything to eat. I felt that my life was over.
Fast forward to 2 years later and I was being bullied at school. I was still experiencing violence at home and food was scarce. At 10 years old, I first tried to end my life. I wrote a note and everything. But the next day I woke up. Yet that didn't stop me. I continued trying but each time I would wake up the next morning.
The last time I tried was when I was back home from my first year in college in 2006. While things had improved since the first time, it was still hard for me. I was unhappy at school and when I got home where I thought things would be better, I was unhappy there too. I reverted back to that old self where ending my life would finally put me at peace and in a place where I didn't feel constant pain. I did wake up afterwards but I could tell that it was finally working. If I hadn't told my sister what I did and if she hadn't told my mom and stepdad I don't know if I would be writing this right now. I was taken to the hospital and then to a psychiatric ward.
I'm doing this walk for the young Latinas who are like how I was: desperate, lonely, depressed, angry. I don't want them to try what I did. I want them to know they are not alone. I want them to know that they can talk to others who have been there. We can give them some type of reassurance that they are strong, resilient young women who have so much ahead of them and that they are needed in this world.
Please contribute anything you can. It would mean a lot to me.